20somethingteen

I haven’t given up! Honest!

I just moved into the house and haven’t had internet that’s all, and have been running around trying to get all the random stuff sorted with the house so haven’t really had time. I am getting internet on the 28th July so expect more posts from then :)

However I am home for the weekend so I can blog from here, woop.

So I moved in over a week ago now. I loved it at first, I would just sit alone in the living room watching ER on Patrick with dinner and snacks into the night not being bothered by another living soul, loved it loved it. I started to record some more of my music too, which may appear online at some point, I don’t know yet really.. I like the music side of it but I really don’t like my singing voice anymore :/ hm.

There were plenty of problems with the house when I moved in, which was disappointing. Among some minor ones were people’s wardrobes were half assembled or broken, one bedroom’s door didn’t close, cracks in the windows and the fact that the whole house hadn’t been cleaned so there was a pretty thick layer of dust everywhere. Oh and the slugs. There were also more major problems like damp in one of the bedrooms and the conservator, broken asbestos walls in the shed, ivy growing into the conservatory and faults in the burglar and fire alarms. And now there’s a water leak in the living room dripping down into a saucepan. Great.

I have done my best to try and get it all sorted for everyone - and most of it has now - as I am the only one who has moved in, but it’s getting too much/too stressful basically, so I’ve come home for a couple of days just to escape from it really.. and also I was getting lonely, but don’t tell anyone as I swore I wouldn’t let myself.

Met up with a friend and old romantic interest earlier in the week, back in my let’s-go-crazy phase in the first semester. I don’t know why I spent a good half an hour beforehand getting ready.. I think I felt like I had something to prove, but there was never any resentment there so I don’t know why I would need to prove anything, but hey. Sometimes I do stuff that confuses even myself. Got me thinking about how much things have changed and how much they’ve just stayed the same, and how much more they could have changed if they hadn’t stayed the same so much. And whether or not it’s too late.. Anyways we were going to see Harry Potter but it was (predictably) sold out, so we decided on Bruno, which sold out literally as we got to the counter, so it ended up being the Hangover, which was actually really funny. And the Alan character was cute so I’m not complaining :)

Really want the house to just start feeling like a home now.. kind of want other people to move in or visit, but I never have the confidence to ask my friends from home to visit.. don’t know why. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the not feeling close to them thing, no matter how much we change.

I (hopefully) have a friend visiting next week however which will be great! And he always seems to share my enthusiasm for trying new things and going new places (why don’t more people?!) so I’m going to be able to cross off plenty of things from The List without feeling like a loser doing them alone.

Don’t really know what to do today.. I wish I could make torrents download faster by putting in some kind of physical effort, but alas I just have to wait for them to finish of their own accord.

Also got some new jeans during the week, which I desperately needed as the massive hole in the crotch of my old ones was getting difficult to hide. And when you have holes in the crotch of some of your boxers too.. every day turns into a fun game of paralysing paranoia wondering if two damaged pairs have matched up.. Also got a nice polo shirt in the sale which makes me look like I’m about to hop onto a gold caddy at any second, and a brown blazer from H&M which I will no doubt end up taking back. Why do I always convince myself that clothes that are too big for me look okay?

I don’t know what to do with my day of comfort and free heating and electric and food! Hmmmm.

I think I’ll sign out now anyway, beginning to lose inspiration as to what to write generally.. :/ not good for the lifespan of my blog really…

Florence and the Machine - You’ve Got the Love

Because it reminds me of the 90s and driving around with my elder sisters and they all had houses and boyfriends and lives and it makes me think now of how they, then, weren’t much older than I am now. And it’s weird. And also comforting. I’m so glad I have siblings.

t.